Gender is something that has been expressed to us whether it had been from family members, the media, and social groupings and so on. This idea of gender has been expressed as perhaps role fulfillments. For example, men are supposed to be emotionally detached and “the provider”. On the other had woman should only show tenderness, happiness, and are reasonable for the caregiver role. Even though no authority figure has said that is how it is, over the years, the public has chosen to accept how either gender is should behave. Again gender roles can be expressed be the media, family, friends and learning institutions. I cannot say that my exposure to gender roles was necessarily clear.
I grew up in a two-parent household, but unlike popular media would express; there was a gender role reversal between my parents. My mother was a nurse and generally worked fifty hours a week and my father was a computer engineer working the normal nine to five Monday through Friday. With my father’s more open availability it left him open for the care-taking role. Meaning, he would make us breakfast, get us ready for school and in the evening cooked dinner and made sure our homework was completed. My father really identified with being a father and was progressive as well.
Gender roles were not expressed, both parents taught us how to cook, fix cars and so on. It was my parents’ goal to raise us girls to be independent, self-sufficient individuals. I think this individualist philosophy may have confused me while growing up; I was just always under the impression that everyone was that way. Even throughout middle school, gender role were still unclear to me. Throughout the socialization process of school, I am sure that gender roles had been expressed to me, but I cannot recall anything in specific.
The first expression was not until I was twenty-five and moving in with my boyfriend . It was the day after I had moved all of my belongings in to my boyfriend’s house and my grandma called me to ask how it was going. I reported that everything went fine, and that is when things got serious. Grandma asks me “So what do you plan on making for dinner for the next week?” She went on further to say that, my responsibilities have change as a woman. Meaning I was no longer taking care of myself, but my new responsibilities were to take care of the house and my boyfriend, and if I needed to I should quit my job and just focus on school and the house work. Furthermore did she not only express that my social role as a woman was to take care of the house and my boyfriend, but it was his responsibility to pay for us. This is still confusing, I just feel that both genders should work together to get things done.
History and social learning has taught us that women are to be responsible for care taking and men are responsible for “bring home the bacon”. However, I am hopeful that in these modern times those gender roles have become gray and fuzzy. I only say this because now that I am in my late twenties everyone needs to bring home the turkey and the other bring home the bacon. Economic survival has become so hard that having one stay at home partner is no longer an option.
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